The Girl Gets Some Closure

“Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checked by failure...than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat.”

~Theodore Roosevelt

I am guilty of what has to be one of the dumbest moves I have ever made. Trust me when I say this is big considering some of the stupid stuff I have done. I looked the boy up on a social networking site. I did this about a year ago. I should really have let well enough alone, and for a long time I did. Then it starts eating away at you when you realize that there was no real closure to the situation. I am a person who needs closure. I'm not saying that I was stalking his page. In fact I ignored it for quite some time. I was discussing it with my fiance how I would love answers to the burning questions that I still have after three years of separation. Yes, that is an insane amount of time for this to still be bothering me, I realize this. I went ahead.

I sent a message to him and as far as messages to ex-es go; it was rather tame and civil. I came to a realization. As much as he wants me to hate him, I actually should thank him! Yes, the boy who forced me into bankruptcy and foreclosure, who started my year of insanity, who broke up so many of my friendships...should be thanked! If he hadn't knocked me from my pedestal of everything being good in my life and forced me into a downward spiral that I barely recognized myself in, I could never have crawled back victorious. I never would be where I am now.

So check list this with me. If all the horrible crap hadn't happened, I would never have...

1)moved 150 miles from my family for a job and subsequently found my kick ass current job.

2)met the love of my life who accepts all of me past and all, even if he doesn't like it he accepts it.

3)reconnected with my family with even stronger bonds.

In essence his method of destroying me backfired. In no way am I giving him any credit for these achievements, please don't read me wrong. I just give him credit for being the trigger. I did the work to become better.

Ultimately, I did get a response, in fact I got three responses. Upon reading these responses I realize some people never change and it's a very good thing I got out when I did because he really doesn't deserve someone like me.