Girl Meets Boy The Final Act




Do not be too timid and squeamish about your actions. All life is an experience.


~Ralph Waldo Emerson



As said, I had promised to be done with him after the move. The job looked good and life was starting to get back to where it should be. I had to give in and claim bankruptcy or I would never recover but that one setback was not as bad as the last three years had been. Then he showed up.
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He had been calling and I was trying to get him to go away, but there is still that part of your heart that says 'it can work'. Even when I knew we were long past it being good or healthy, I decided to give it a try. I was not dealing with the slacking anymore though. He had to contribute to the household. The fights during this time were worse than before. This coupled with having to lie about even talking to him, much less seeing him, made me a not good person to be around.
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He started going out. The town we moved to was not very big. A major highway did run through it, but the downtown was pretty much abandoned to the locals. He made friends with some prison guards that lived around the area. He sold his car to one of them so he'd have some cash and bought another piece of crap car that had a million problems with it and came begging for money to fix it.
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Again, he could not find a job.
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The fighting intensified and there really was no spark left. I was miserable. He suggested moving in with one of his friends, the one who had bought the car. He thought that things could be worked out if we were apart. This did not sound like a bad idea.
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I came home from work one day to an empty apartment. He was not there. His things were not there. I thought nothing of it, until I noticed something else was missing: the PS2 was gone. I am not sure if I mentioned this, but my ex loved to pawn things, usually my things. If he needed money it was far easier to pawn something present than to *gasp* work for it. I called the friend he had said he would stay with and the guy had not seen him in over a week. I knew he was gone. No note on the table. Nothing indicating what was going on. He was just out of there.
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I should have been thrilled! Instead, I was devastated. I feel really bad for the Movie Gallery attendant that night. I had just rented a couple of games for the night. I had no PS2 anymore and my boyfriend had left me. I was a sobbing mess. She kindly gave me my money back instead of making me keep the games or take an in-store credit.
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It was a Friday or Saturday and I couldn't stay in the apartment. I went to the closest tourist trap, because it assured anonymity. I wanted to be around people, but not have to interact too much.
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I am not a party person. I do not drink and before that night I had never set foot in a bar alone except when a band was playing. I got adopted by a crazy drunk lady and her boyfriend. We ended up playing pool. The jukebox was all over the place. One minute it was Metallica to AFI then out of nowhere: ABBA's dancing queen.
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I could read the bouncer's expression and made a comment about the switch. He was impressed I knew who AFI was! We talked some more and I whined and told my whole story to him. He was a sympathetic ear and I foolishly thought something could come out of it. Things did go a lot farther than they probably should have, and certainly farther and quicker than I had ever done things before, but I was a woman scorned. I was hurt and angry and not in control of my emotions or much of anything else.
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A week passed before the phone call came. My 'boyfriend'/ex/the loser who abandoned me called. He had left to find work back where I had met him and this was the first time he found a phone. Ummmm.... Is it just me or don't most cities have more than one phone and it should be relatively easy to find said device. I wasn't going to have it. I told him we were done. I had 'moved on'. He hung up.
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Nothing else ever happened with the bouncer. We talked every week that he was working. In a way he was a friend or he took extreme pity on me or wondered what the hell he got himself into when he met me. Doesn't really matter sense it was just a learning experience and helped as a catalyst to officially end things.
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So that should have been it. There were maybe two more contacts with my ex.Driving the last nail in to the coffin. I finally said enough of the stupidity and stopped contact. Last year I sent him an email though. I wanted to rub it in his face how good my life is now. What a great job I have and stress free. All because he isn't in my life. It was shallow and petty, but it felt good. He had switched phone companies and I still had and old phone for it that I agreed to send to him. I had no use for it, so why not?
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I also still had some clothes and other things around. I threw them in the box too. It was over a year since we had broken up. Why did I have these things lying around? Then I found my necklace half. There is a necklace that I have always wanted to share with my chosen other; it is two entangled dragons that form a heart. The dragons seperate and each partner gets one. I dropped my half in the box and a huge weight lifted from me. This was it. The last piece that held attachment and it was going.
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I inquired if he got the package a week or so later. Part of me hoped he would say something about the necklace or other things. Why would I expect such a level of thought out of him is beyond me. Instead, he complained that I had sent the wrong phone charger with the phone. I had just given him an $80 after all the crap he had put me through and all the things he had stolen and/or pawned on me and he was bitching about a $10 charger! Guess some things never change. I never sent him the right charger. Never contacted him again.
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This past week I looked in my email and realized I still had emails from him from 2007. I deleted them all. Didn't even bother to look at a single one. I could wish it never happened, but it did. I fell to my lowest point because of him and if I hadn't I would never be where I am now. Life does turn around and when you hit bottom, you see how good it is to be on top. ^_^

5 comments:

Daannamae March 3, 2010 at 10:09 PM  

Well, my dear I have finally gotten caught up with all of your posts. I am thankful that you have final gotten that bakayarou out of your life. ^_^
I hope you know how much you mean to me and my family. After all you do have a room at my home in AZ, when or if you need it. Of course if you want some dorm space you're welcome to that too.
Love, ABS

Gwei Mui March 4, 2010 at 12:26 AM  

I am glad to hear that you ended the relationship, even better your life is now back to where it should be viz work. Emotions are such a weird one - why we do what we do - why we remain in destructive and or abusive relationships; if it were a friend we would probably be advising that they break it off. Our common sense and objectivity walks out of the door when it becomes personal. I'm sure that your post will bring great hope to all that read it. It may indeed help someone else who finds themselves in a similar position.
Good for you. Wishing you all the very best - can't wait for your next post.
GM

Gwei Mui March 6, 2010 at 7:39 AM  

Hi please visit http://takeawaythoughts.blogspot.com where your Beautiful Blogger Award is awaiting pick up. :)

Whoopsie Daisy March 16, 2010 at 11:18 AM  

I'm glad to hear you're letting him go, finally clearing him out of your life.Why do we keep jolding on when we know it's not good for us??
I've had two relationships like this, one was uncannilly similar to yours and he left too, taking a lot of stuff to sell also.. and years later I had a child with an abusive partner. This time I had to gain the strenght to end it, to overcome my situation. you have inspired me to give this man back my butterfly rings. A little collection of rings he bought me down through the years, but I've held onto them. I don't want any attachments to him anymore, we share a child and that is enough. Stay strong, and always have respect for yourself.. and don't have any for those who don't respect you x

Andrea Leigh March 16, 2010 at 9:28 PM  

^_^ Thank you Whoopsie Daisy. Trust me, it really is a releasing feeling. I hope everything goes well for you and your child!

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