I would rather entertain and hope people learned something than educate people and hope they were entertained.
~ Walt Disney
Ok, I know there are tons of books out there and they spout most of what I'm writing. I've read these books, rolled my eyes and said "Yeah, right, not me." There is a lot of truth behind those books and whether we believe them at the time or not, well I for one got caught up in it.
1) If a guy says he's incapable of love: Believe him! I spent over a year and a half hearing this line and refused to believe it. I thought it was baloney. It wasn't. No matter what I would do wasn't going to change his mind. He wasn't ready for a relationship and had told me straight out that he wasn't. I was too focused on making him care for me I missed the most obvious hint that it wasn't worth my time.
2) In no way shape or form does anyone have the right to call you demeaning names. The one exception to this might be is if you agree to kinky stuff in the bedroom, but that's your prerogative. I for one did not need my self-esteem shattered by being calling a slut and a whore by someone I wasn't dating. If someone needs to belittle you; you're better off on your own.
3) When there is a perpetual need for you to cover every bill that comes your way when in a committed relationship. I'm not saying that the girl can't cover dinner and household expenses. I firmly believe in the 50/50 trying to not overwhelm the other person with financial responsibility, but if a pattern forms that it isn't so 50/50 more like 100% on your shoulders it's time to reevaluate.
4) Waiting is worth it! There are so many little compromises a person makes in relationships. Soon you start writing off things just to stay with someone. Well... he smokes and I don't, but as long as it's outside, I guess it's not that bad... WRONG! If you don't like something there is no reason to sweep it under the rug just to stay with someone. It's just blinding you to possible bigger faults. There are actually people out there that match your values out there and it may take some digging to find them and, yes heartbreak along the way, but trust me: IT IS AMAZING when you don't have to overlook things that irritate you just so you can be with someone. (Not saying there is no compromise, just not to the point that it whitewashes everything and makes you question your values)
5) Do not degrade yourself. When you find yourself in the bank office bawling your eyes out because your significant other did not follow though with promises and they are threatening to take away your car to the point your grandparents have to step in, or your begging friends and family for money: It is time to open your eyes. This was a major thing toward the end of the Girl Meets Boy saga but it goes beyond panhandling. There are a lot of weird requests out there. Especially after a bad break-up it is easy to lose self-respect. Yes, you do things that you would not do in your normal frame of mind.
However, have enough respect for yourself to draw the line on things that could truly harm you or degrade you. Among these: crying and begging someone to stay with you when they've made it clear your just a sex toy to them (they aren't going to change their mind and you just made yourself out to be a needy fool), giving into odd sexual fantasies of a partner that put you to shame (You have every right to say no to things you are not comfortable with) Obsessing/Stalking (You don't need to know what they are doing every moment of the day anymore than they need to know about you)
If for any reason the person you are with has issue with you denying something that you're not comfortable with, take a moment to look at the overall and decide if the person is worth being with.
The Girl's Relationship Lessons
Happy but Worried Girl
When you are in love you can't fall asleep because reality is better than your dreams.
~Dr. Seuss
Today is a momentous day for me. Six months ago I made contact with the one person in the world who turned my view on life and love around. Happy Anniversary Love!
I apologize for not keeping up with the blog. Season hit and after running around at work coming home and thinking of posts has become difficult. Correction, sitting down and putting it down on the keyboard is difficult. I swear I have had about thirty post topics flit through my mind only to escape to the recesses of subconscious when I get my motivation up enough to do something about it.
I watched a documentary about Heavy Metal recently and in it Dee Snyder of Twisted Sister was telling a story about how one day he was sitting by the pool trying to write the next "We're Not Going to Take It" and found that he couldn't do it. His life had turned around with all the success that writing about rebellion and scrapping by was really hard. I understood the concept when I watched it, but now I can relate. I have lost focus of where Broken Girl was supposed to go. I plan to return on track and continue the stories that I started to tell. I apologize for my procrastination.
I must pose this question because of something happening with one of my friends has me puzzled. Is it possible to fall headlong in a long-distance relationship with someone? If you are not near the person, can you have a true romance and be angry or surprised if it fails? And if you are in such, or trying to maintain such, a relationship: How much contact is acceptable? I know there are times in close distant relationships where it seemed like I was in almost constant contact/checking in status with the other person, I don't even know where you begin to decide such lines in a cross-country affair...
