Stressing Girl

There cannot be a stressful crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
~Henry Kissinger

This weeks topic is taking a look at stress and all the lovely forms it can take and how it relates in my life. This gave me an opportunity to review and realize that in reality, a lot of my stress has gone away. I used to have to stress about bills and whether or not I was going to be able to buy groceries. Now I don't feel so afraid of that. Admittedly, having a stable relationship with someone who is financially responsible and willing to reel me in when I start getting overextended on wants vs. needs helps this situation. Now that those worries are no longer in the foreground, I don't know what I have to stress about. Maybe I'm just calming down as I get older and see that things are not as bad as I once thought.

So I went looking around the internet for stress questionnaires after I came to the enlightenment that things aren't so bad and maybe I am maturing and maybe I'm actually doing really well. That is until the following happened.

Conversation with fiance:
Me: This test says my stress is high!
Him: Listen to your voice honey.
Me: What?
Him: High Pitched and loud. You're stressed because your taking
all these stress tests.

(links to the tests on bottom of page)

In other words, because I don't really think about the stress in my life as stressors; because they are just there and I have to live with them so why give them special names, I don't feel the stress that is occurring?

If I were to rate my current level of stress, I would actually say it is pretty low. The biggest stressors in my life right now: Work, School, and the stupid fly that won't leave me alone!!!

The simplest of these has to be the fly. Ok, I am using it as a scapegoat for other irritants, but it is something that I could do something about. This little pest manages to avoid squishing at every turn. Talk about a stressful existence! The bug just wants to buzz around land on a rotting banana peel, make a home in the rabbit litter, and lives its 15-30 day lifespan in grotesqueness. Instead, it spends most of its time buzzing around avoiding everything from a flyswatter to a tennis shoe.

Work is work. I am fortunate to have a company that allows me to be be myself. There are open door policies in place so if there is a concern there are people to talk to. I really am fortunate. I can't control the weather or the economy. I'm less stressed about the seasonal layoffs this years. Probably because it allows me to focus on school more.

This semester is gonna be one of my hardest. I am hoping to graduate next May, which means putting in for a lot of credits this and next semester. So far I'm handling it. The best thing I have found to handle it is a planner! In middle school and high school I was given a planner every year and never really made use of it. It only just dawned on me that this was a planner. I got one for school this year along with different color pens so I am now color coordinated for all my classes. This semester also has me doing more full term classes. This is something to get used to because my accelerated program has me doing 8 week stints online. I am also having interaction with people because of my in-person class and that is stressing. Somehow I've been taking leadership roles and that's new to me. I'll make it through like always even if I freak out a bit, but I know that is my own doing. I put more stress on myself because I have to aim to do my best. So I spend a semester wondering if I'm answering things right or if I am doing what the teacher wants me to do. I need to stop second-guessing and relax.

All kidding aside, there is one thing that I am stressed about, but I can't do anything about it so I don't mention it. I'm really worried that my grandparents won't be alive to see my wedding. I know that I could move up the date and ensure that they are there. As of right now it really wouldn't be a hard thing to do although we already have the caterer and location set for our chosen date, but that's over a year away. It is very important to me for them to know that I am married and okay; that they don't have to worry about me anymore. I worry that I don't see them enough or spend enough time with them. Grandma just was diagnosed with dementia and if confirming that I am me and not my sister was an issue before, I don't know how it will be now. I am scared and when the diagnoses came through, I avoided calling or stopping in because I'm too weak to deal with this...


Amber September 17, 2011 at 9:40 AM  

Very lovely take on the situation


Welcome to my little part of the blogosphere. I started this blog for the express purpose of proving that no matter what happens in life, you are not alone. I am sharing my stories from my school days, dating disasters, and personal trials.